I awoke once more to not only the annoying shrill beeping of the monitor but to another headache and the muffled sound of voices arguing. Carefully opening my eyes I glanced around to see that it was very dark in my room and no one was it. Movement out of the corner of my eye made me turn and look. I could see two maybe three different shadows standing out there: one of them obviously woman.
I watched as their arms made wild motions with the angry but undefinable words that came out of their mouth towards each other. Then after a couple more minutes they fell silent and the door slowly opened. Light flooded the room and I had to look away slightly for my eyes to adjust. When I turned back around three people stood in the doorway staring at me. The woman I had noticed before was my mom…
Her already bloodshot eyes were now crying again and her hands covered her mouth muffling the sobs. My dad stood next to her. His own eyes were tired and he looked so weak. I mentally grimaced. This was not how my dad was supposed to look at all. Ever. Then the doctor from earlier stood next to him looking so relieved to see me awake.
“Oh Karli…” My mom whispered before she rushed forward and swept me into her arms. Tears slipped from my eyes as I embraced her back. I buried my face into her neck and just cried everything out. I felt another pair of arms encircle me and without looking I knew my dad had joined the hug.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why but I am so sorry.” I cried. Wanted to beg my parents to forgive me for something that I didn’t know.
“Just don’t do that again. Talk to me, talk to your dad, just don’t… Please don’t do that again.”
I blinked slightly. The tears stopped falling from my eyes as my moms words registered in my mind. ‘Did I do this to myself? Why? What did I do?’ But before I could voice my questions the forgotten doctor spoke up.
“Um… Mr. Keep? Mrs. Keep? I need to speak to you. Can we please step outside into the hall real quick?”
I felt my mom shift probably to look at him and I thought for a minute that she was going to refuse but then she stilled and nodded her head. Slowly she and my dad pulled away and followed the doctor back out the door. I watched as the doctor spoke very softly to them and then my mom gave almost a scream before she turned to my dad. He held her and I wished terribly to be out there with them. I wanted someone to hold me as the walls seemed to slowly move in.
I knew what they were talking about out there. The doctor was telling them that I had forgotten something. He was telling them I had lost my memory. I buried myself under the covers and tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. I could still remember what had happened with the doctor earlier and it scared me. Whatever I had forgotten had to have been big or something important.
I heard the door open but I didn’t move from my shelter from under the sheet. A hand rested gently on my head and slowly began to stroke me through the thin blanket. I squeezed my eyes shut as hard as I could trying to focus on the feeling. Eventually I fell into a uneasy sleep only my voice echoing my promise to always remember and those brown eyes accompanied me into the dark.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
I've Forgotten - Part 3
“Think. Try to think back, Laurel. You know that house. You know the reason for your pain. Think!”
Tears were pouring from my eyes and my hands which were clutching the sheet shot up to clutch my head. “I don’t know!!! I don’t know!” I cried. “I can’t remember why! Please stop! It hurts!” It was true too. The pain that I remember swelling in my chest in my memory was swelling now. Flashes of the house, me sitting in my car on the driveway, inside on the couch, and brown eyes kept cycling through. I gave another cry, “Please make it stop!” I couldn’t see anything besides the constant flashes and the brown eyes. Everything was moving fast and becoming blurry: Everything but those brown eyes that just stared at me.
“Laurel!” It was the doctor’s voice. I felt someone grab my wrists prying my hands from my head. “Laurel! Snap out of it! Laurel!” I tried to focus on the voice but something else was getting in the way. Something that I needed to know was pushing itself to the forefront of my mind.
“I promised… I promised to remember… Always remember…” The heart monitor was going out of control and the doctor and nurse were screaming for help. I was pushed down till I was lying back on the bed. My arms were still pinned to my side and I just stared blankly forward. “I made a promise… and I forgot…”A tear slipped from the corner of my eye as everything shut off.
Tears were pouring from my eyes and my hands which were clutching the sheet shot up to clutch my head. “I don’t know!!! I don’t know!” I cried. “I can’t remember why! Please stop! It hurts!” It was true too. The pain that I remember swelling in my chest in my memory was swelling now. Flashes of the house, me sitting in my car on the driveway, inside on the couch, and brown eyes kept cycling through. I gave another cry, “Please make it stop!” I couldn’t see anything besides the constant flashes and the brown eyes. Everything was moving fast and becoming blurry: Everything but those brown eyes that just stared at me.
“Laurel!” It was the doctor’s voice. I felt someone grab my wrists prying my hands from my head. “Laurel! Snap out of it! Laurel!” I tried to focus on the voice but something else was getting in the way. Something that I needed to know was pushing itself to the forefront of my mind.
“I promised… I promised to remember… Always remember…” The heart monitor was going out of control and the doctor and nurse were screaming for help. I was pushed down till I was lying back on the bed. My arms were still pinned to my side and I just stared blankly forward. “I made a promise… and I forgot…”A tear slipped from the corner of my eye as everything shut off.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I've Forgotten - Part 2
The nurse followed by a scruffy looking doctor walked quickly into my room minutes later. I watched as the moved almost mechanically about the room, occasionally jotting down something or pressing buttons. Finally once I was sure they had gone over everything at least 5 times each, the doctor, shadowed by the nurse, approached me.
“How are you feeling, Karli?” He asked.
“Just fine, if not a little sore…”
“You are sore? Can you tell me where?”
“Um… Everywhere? I just hurt… Well that’s not entirely true, my entire body just feels really sensitive at the moment and it hurts when I move…” I watched as the doctor studied me for a minute then once more jotted something down on his pad. He then gave me another calculating look.
“I have to ask you… How long do you think you have been asleep?”
I hesitated answering the question due to the fact I remember my earlier “conversation” with the nurse. “Well truthfully… I thought it was only a day but from the way she acted…” I replied gesturing towards the green-eyed woman, “it’s been a little longer than that.”
The doctor gave a soft hum his own green eyes watching me. Then with slightly narrowed eyes he asked, “What do you remember before you “fell asleep”?”
I hesitated once more and looked down at my hands which were at the moment playing with the white bedspread. “I… I remember going to school… and talking with my friends… I remember going home and doing homework… There was no one home…”
“What time was it?” Strangely his voice sounded distant, more eerie.
“What time…? It was…” I closed my eyes as I thought back.
I sat on the ground my AP Biology book, my notebook, and a binder all spread were out before me. I tapped my pencil against my binder as I glanced from my notebook to the textbook and back. Sighing in frustration I turned my gaze upward I spotted my alarm clock sitting on my desk. The red lights flashed 4-
“-:30… It was 4:30…”
“What did you do next?”
Sighing once more I stood up and popped my back before kick my textbook shut and glaring at it. Then I made my way out of my room and up the stairs. When I got all the way to the top I paused. The entire house groaned against the screeching wind outside but other than that the entire house was silent. My hand dropped down to the railing and I started to squeeze. The walls seemed to move close in on me from everywhere and I felt myself start to panic.
Just then a loud jingling noise followed by the clicking of claws jerked me out of my revere and I turned thankfully to watch my dog trot out from around the corner. He stretched and yawned before spotting me. Smiling I made my way towards him and knelt down to pull him into a hug. Only seconds later I found myself crying into his fur as a sudden pain in my chest grew until it was unbearable.
“A pain in your chest? Do you know what it was from?” He asked.
I paused trying to think. “N-no… No I don’t know what it was from.”
He wrote something down again. “Continue.”
Eventually I stood back up and grabbing my keys out of my pocket I jingled them in front of his face. “I’m going to go for a ride, alright boy? You be good and keep the house safe until either I or someone else gets home, okay?” My only answer was a cock of his head and a small wag of his tail. Laughing softly I ruffled his fur before making my way out the door.
“You left the house?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“It… It has something to do with the pain I had felt earlier.”
“Have you felt this pain before?”
“Yes.” He wrote something down once more before nodding at me to continue.
I drove down my regular path glancing sideways watching a familiar house rush by only to look away and tighten my grip on my steering wheel as my chest tightened once more.
“A familiar house? Why was it familiar? Why did it cause you pain?”
“I… I don’t know. I don’t know whose house it is and I don’t know why I hurt after I saw it!”
“How are you feeling, Karli?” He asked.
“Just fine, if not a little sore…”
“You are sore? Can you tell me where?”
“Um… Everywhere? I just hurt… Well that’s not entirely true, my entire body just feels really sensitive at the moment and it hurts when I move…” I watched as the doctor studied me for a minute then once more jotted something down on his pad. He then gave me another calculating look.
“I have to ask you… How long do you think you have been asleep?”
I hesitated answering the question due to the fact I remember my earlier “conversation” with the nurse. “Well truthfully… I thought it was only a day but from the way she acted…” I replied gesturing towards the green-eyed woman, “it’s been a little longer than that.”
The doctor gave a soft hum his own green eyes watching me. Then with slightly narrowed eyes he asked, “What do you remember before you “fell asleep”?”
I hesitated once more and looked down at my hands which were at the moment playing with the white bedspread. “I… I remember going to school… and talking with my friends… I remember going home and doing homework… There was no one home…”
“What time was it?” Strangely his voice sounded distant, more eerie.
“What time…? It was…” I closed my eyes as I thought back.
I sat on the ground my AP Biology book, my notebook, and a binder all spread were out before me. I tapped my pencil against my binder as I glanced from my notebook to the textbook and back. Sighing in frustration I turned my gaze upward I spotted my alarm clock sitting on my desk. The red lights flashed 4-
“-:30… It was 4:30…”
“What did you do next?”
Sighing once more I stood up and popped my back before kick my textbook shut and glaring at it. Then I made my way out of my room and up the stairs. When I got all the way to the top I paused. The entire house groaned against the screeching wind outside but other than that the entire house was silent. My hand dropped down to the railing and I started to squeeze. The walls seemed to move close in on me from everywhere and I felt myself start to panic.
Just then a loud jingling noise followed by the clicking of claws jerked me out of my revere and I turned thankfully to watch my dog trot out from around the corner. He stretched and yawned before spotting me. Smiling I made my way towards him and knelt down to pull him into a hug. Only seconds later I found myself crying into his fur as a sudden pain in my chest grew until it was unbearable.
“A pain in your chest? Do you know what it was from?” He asked.
I paused trying to think. “N-no… No I don’t know what it was from.”
He wrote something down again. “Continue.”
Eventually I stood back up and grabbing my keys out of my pocket I jingled them in front of his face. “I’m going to go for a ride, alright boy? You be good and keep the house safe until either I or someone else gets home, okay?” My only answer was a cock of his head and a small wag of his tail. Laughing softly I ruffled his fur before making my way out the door.
“You left the house?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“It… It has something to do with the pain I had felt earlier.”
“Have you felt this pain before?”
“Yes.” He wrote something down once more before nodding at me to continue.
I drove down my regular path glancing sideways watching a familiar house rush by only to look away and tighten my grip on my steering wheel as my chest tightened once more.
“A familiar house? Why was it familiar? Why did it cause you pain?”
“I… I don’t know. I don’t know whose house it is and I don’t know why I hurt after I saw it!”
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I've Forgotten - Part 1
I stared at the red liquid that welled up from the small slit on my wrist. My blue eyes trace the bubble as it continued to grow before sliding down the side to drop to the ground. I had already lost so much but it didn’t seem to be helping me. My bloody fingers clawed at my scarred arm once more reopening wounds. Nothing was working: I still hurt so much…
As my vision began to blur and darken I made a wish. I wished with all my heart that night as I lay there dying… My body slumped to the side and a tear streaked out of my blood shot eyes…
“I wish…” I whispered. “… To just forget it all…”
I groaned slightly as my body started to awaken only to find that everywhere hurt and I had a massive headache pounding behind my skull. Of course I guess the slow, constant beeping noise didn’t really help my migraine.
‘Beeping noise? I haven’t turned on my alarm clock in… well a very long time… What the heck is making that noise?”
Without much more thought I opened my eyes only to hiss at the brightness of the room. My head pounded even more and I found myself crying at the pain. ‘Who turned on the lights!?’ Once the bright stars that were behind my eyelids vanished I slowly inched my eyes open.
When I had finally open them fully I looked around the startling white room. ‘Where am I?’ I was definitely not in my room anymore, let alone my own house. ‘What did I do last night?’ For the life of my I couldn’t remember very much of anything. There were bits and pieces that would flash through my mind but they seemed to be missing something.
Before I could ponder on it anymore my attention was drawn back to the still shrill beeping that had woke me up. I glanced around before my sight narrowed in on a machine that beeped every time the line shot up. ‘A heart monitor? Am I in a hospital?’ I looked down at myself and confirmed my suspicion. I was dressed in a sheet of some sort and underneath I had been stripped to my underwear. A needle poked into the inner side of my elbow, probably into one of my veins. While both of my arms from just below the elbow to the wrist were wrapped tightly in gauze. ‘Seriously, what did I do last night?!’
I continued to gaze around before my eyes settled on a small button at the bedside that said call. Not being able to resist, I reached over and firmly pressed the button. When nothing happened instantly I shrugged before checking out the rest of the room. Though my attempt at exploration was cut off when one of the doors opened swiftly.
I turned to look and met the green eyes of a shocked woman. But the look of her outfit I assumed she was a nurse that I had just “called”. I was about to ask her why I was here but she got words out before me.
“You’re awake!”
I blinked in surprise, my mouth clicking shut as whatever I was just about to say vanished out the window. ‘I’m awake? Why is that such a shock? I’ve only been sleeping for a day… right?’
“Uh… Yes?” I replied unsure on how to respond to her statement.
“Oh this is wonderful!” She exclaimed. She then turned and was halfway out the door before she paused, “Just give me one moment and I will be back with a doctor!” and then she was gone. I could only stare at the empty doorway with a sense of dread. ‘Is this some sick joke?’
As my vision began to blur and darken I made a wish. I wished with all my heart that night as I lay there dying… My body slumped to the side and a tear streaked out of my blood shot eyes…
“I wish…” I whispered. “… To just forget it all…”
I groaned slightly as my body started to awaken only to find that everywhere hurt and I had a massive headache pounding behind my skull. Of course I guess the slow, constant beeping noise didn’t really help my migraine.
‘Beeping noise? I haven’t turned on my alarm clock in… well a very long time… What the heck is making that noise?”
Without much more thought I opened my eyes only to hiss at the brightness of the room. My head pounded even more and I found myself crying at the pain. ‘Who turned on the lights!?’ Once the bright stars that were behind my eyelids vanished I slowly inched my eyes open.
When I had finally open them fully I looked around the startling white room. ‘Where am I?’ I was definitely not in my room anymore, let alone my own house. ‘What did I do last night?’ For the life of my I couldn’t remember very much of anything. There were bits and pieces that would flash through my mind but they seemed to be missing something.
Before I could ponder on it anymore my attention was drawn back to the still shrill beeping that had woke me up. I glanced around before my sight narrowed in on a machine that beeped every time the line shot up. ‘A heart monitor? Am I in a hospital?’ I looked down at myself and confirmed my suspicion. I was dressed in a sheet of some sort and underneath I had been stripped to my underwear. A needle poked into the inner side of my elbow, probably into one of my veins. While both of my arms from just below the elbow to the wrist were wrapped tightly in gauze. ‘Seriously, what did I do last night?!’
I continued to gaze around before my eyes settled on a small button at the bedside that said call. Not being able to resist, I reached over and firmly pressed the button. When nothing happened instantly I shrugged before checking out the rest of the room. Though my attempt at exploration was cut off when one of the doors opened swiftly.
I turned to look and met the green eyes of a shocked woman. But the look of her outfit I assumed she was a nurse that I had just “called”. I was about to ask her why I was here but she got words out before me.
“You’re awake!”
I blinked in surprise, my mouth clicking shut as whatever I was just about to say vanished out the window. ‘I’m awake? Why is that such a shock? I’ve only been sleeping for a day… right?’
“Uh… Yes?” I replied unsure on how to respond to her statement.
“Oh this is wonderful!” She exclaimed. She then turned and was halfway out the door before she paused, “Just give me one moment and I will be back with a doctor!” and then she was gone. I could only stare at the empty doorway with a sense of dread. ‘Is this some sick joke?’
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