The Soldier

A frozen face
A scarred soul
Hands worn from battle
A heart that’s gone cold
A dark future
A corrupted past
An eternity of pain
And nightmares that last
A young child’s dream
To save the world
A young man’s nightmare
That’s finally unfurled
A man’s unrelenting gaze
Turned up towards the skies
As the rain falls down
To slide from his eyes
To long has he suffered
Too many years have passed by
His soul is finally broken
And he can no longer cry
So the soldier waits
As his world begins to die
For the rain to finally come
So he can finally cry

Dreaming

I dreamt of love
I dreamt of youth
I dreamt of passion
I dreamt of you
I dreamt of the past
I dreamt of who we were
I dreamt of heartbreak
I dreamt of her
I dreamt of a kiss
That belonged to me
Then she came in
And there can't be three
I dreamt of a smile
Aimed just at her
Agony in the heart
There is no cure
I dreamt of leaving
I dreamt I'd die
I dreamt of ending it
I had said goodbye
I dreamt my eyes closing
I dreamt a locked door
I dreamt my chest stilling
And I dreamt no more...

Facade

Hold your head up high
Look up towards the sky
Fight their words with smiles
For their hatred will only last awhile
Keep your feet firmly planted on the ground
Don’t let your heart make a sound
Keep your eyes straight ahead
What’s in the past is only dead
Keep your tongue sharp and quick
Be prepared to take a hit
Keep your voice gentle and sweet
Don’t be afraid to keep the beat
Let your spirit soar and fly
Let your prayers touch the sky
Let your dreams race around
Be don’t be afraid to calm them down
Sing out for all to hear
Bring others some good cheer
Don’t let them see you suffer and cry
Or how you feel like your going to die
Don’t let them know you want to give up
Don’t let them know how it really is tough
Don’t let them know your heart is about to break
Don’t let them know it’s more than you can take

The Truth

I shouldn’t do this
I shouldn’t play this game
Too many hearts can be broken
And there is nothing to gain
But I do it anyway
I jump from arms to arms
Without looking back
Hoping to keep my heart from harm
So many people suffer my injustice
So many will cry at night
But in reality I only out for myself
And to me that’s alright
I know what you want
I know how you see me
I know you think I’m perfect for you
But please try to believe me
I know how you look at me
And to me it’s all just a game
I’ll play you like my violin
Because to me you are all the same
I’ll use you, I’ll break you
Why don’t you understand this?
I’ll hurt you, I’ll crush you
But you still want a kiss
I know how to get what I want
I know how to twist you my way
I know because I’ve done it before
But I just can’t seem to stray
So many wanting to see my eyes
So many pining for my attention
So many wanting to hold my heart
So many wanting my affection
But I’ll warn you now
My hearts grown cold
To many years of heartache and pain
Is how my past will unfold
I’m going to play with your heart
I’m going to hold it in my hand
I’m going to pretend I care about you
Before I crush you where you stand

I don’t trust them anymore
I’ve locked my heart away
I’ve grown accustomed to this mask
And I’ll use it any day
Caught in my trap none can escape
And I’m going to make you hate me
Because in my eyes
This side of me should you see
You should see the dark
You should see the pain
You should see the hatred
You should see the rage
The one with the light
That lies in her eyes
The one with the smile
The one that never lies
She doesn’t exist anymore
You’re all too late
She’s finally given up
She’s finally passed the gate
She was used and stepped on
But she tried to fight back
All that ever brought her
Was a dark reality with a smack
So just leave while you can
Before for you are caught in my trap
For when I’m finished playing my game
You world is going to snap
You’ll find no pity from me
For you have heard my warning
Leave my side and don’t come back
For next time there will be no morning

Changing Heart

Its funny how I feel
Now that I no longer want to cry
I’ll make you see I’m real
As I stand by your side
I’ll make you hear my voice
I’ll make you look my way
You really won’t have a choice
Because I’m going to stay
I’m going to laugh loud
I’m going to smile big
I’m going to make my friends proud
Because you’re not going to win
I’m not going to suffer anymore
I’m not going to flinch away
I’m going to move my feet off the floor
I’m not going to stay
You are going to feel my pain
When I stand right there
Your days are going to seem the same
But I’m not going to care
I will still love you
With all my heart
But I'll hate you too
Because you’re all I think about
So unlike the years before
In those that I cry
I’m going to shut the door
And let my past finally die
Though this feeling you give to me
Will forever pulse in my soul
But I’ve finally begun to see
That it is taking its toll

Understanding

Unable to tear my eyes away
From our memories
Unable to stray
A tunnel vision is all I see
You’re at the end
Away from me
I struggle along the path to you
Fighting my way
Through my darkened field of view
My friends are worried about this obsession
But I’ve held it for so long
It feels like my only possession
Some have give up and walked away
Others have fought
To tear my gaze astray
I have tried to fight this clutch of my heart
It squeezes and burns
Holding my world apart
I’ve tried to look past what I see
To see the sky
Or even the trees
But you walk back into my sight
And soon I forget
That I was trying to fight
I have fought to tears
Trying to escape your suffocating grasp

Only to face my darkest fears
When I turn away I see a world in the dark
I see the pain and suffering
That makes me never want to part
While you don’t care for me anymore
I look to you for my light in life
I look to you to help me get off the floor
I understand now why I can never turn away
No matter how much I suffer
At your side I will always stay

My Dreams

I close my eyes at the end of the day
And in my bed
I drift away
Drifting along at a pleasurable pace
In a world I created
My sanctuary in space
Only I really exist in here
This place I can live in
The place I can fear
My sanctuary plays my hopes and dreams
Filling my heart with happiness
And giving me wings
But other times the dark creeps in
And over the light
It will finally win
Then my sanctuary becomes my hell
There to hold me captive
In a darkened cell
It plays my fears and pains
With evil ease
And brings my heart to shame in days
Then I can only wait for my tears
And the darkness to be gone
And the light to reappear
Once again to sing a sweet song
To give me hope
In the times of the wrong
Then finally I open my eyes
To my darkened room
In the world of lies

What You Did

Children’s laughter echoes across the sky
Heartbroken and lost, I fall and cry…

Once upon a time when I was still young
You stood there next to me,
And we would play the sun.

Once upon a time I thought dreams came true.
Once upon a time I thought I would never leave you!
Once upon a time those many years ago,
You and I were friends and I loved you so!

But now I’ve lost you
You’ve gone to far
Your light and life have left me
And I don’t know where you are…

Many times I’ve seen you walk by without a glance,
And it makes me wonder if you remember our past.
And in the rush of life that goes by
I always spot you in the crowd of time.

Our lives do not cross.
Our paths do not intertwine.
Then why is it so hard for me,
To leave our past behind.

I’m afraid I’ve become addicted,
To your light and life that graced me once before.
That held me up when I was young,
Then threw me away and locked the door.

You do not realize the pain you’ve caused
By entering back into my life.
You do not realize the tears I’ve shed
That fall like rain from the lies you’ve said.

You befriended me.
You left me.
You graced my life again.

I wanted you.
I needed you.
But you left me behind.

Now you ignore.
You don’t see me.
But love me in my dreams.

You’ve held me.
You’ve kissed me.
But hate me just the same.

So now I stand here motionless,
Lost to time and an eternity of pain.