I force a smile as the nurse came through the door and informed my mom that visiting times were over and that tomorrow she could come pick me up whenever. I watched as she nodded her head and then turned back around to pull me into a hug. As she was pulling away I met her blue eyes with my own. She seemed to search my eyes before fully letting go. As she was turning to leave she paused. “I love you, Laurel. Remember that.” I nodded even though her back was toward me and then she was gone.
I remained silent as the nurse hurried about the room doing the last check-ups before she smiled at me. I smiled back at her and then she too, was gone. Very slowly I lay back down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.
‘I love you, Laurel. Remember that… Remember that… Remember… Always remember…’ The ceiling shifted and was engulfed in black. I had fallen asleep. ‘Always remember… Promise to… remember…’ The brown eyes returned, only this time a familiar, but unknown voice followed, “You promised to always remember…”
Monday, November 9, 2009
I've Forgotten - Part 6
“Though the doctor also said you still have to wear the bandages around your arms and apply the medication to them every day for a couple more weeks…”
I tuned my mom out once more as my hand shifted from my bracelet to my arm. I had seen the wounds underneath the bandages and to say I was shocked would have been an understatement.
Three long, blotchy lines stretched from the underside of my elbow. It grew thicker in the center of the wounds before narrowing off at the ends. But arms bore these wounds but my left… my stomach clenched. My left arm had a perfect slice that was perpendicular to the three other wounds. That one wound was so much deeper than any of the others that it had to be stitched shut.
My gaze turned to my mother who still sat there chatting away. Both she and the doctor had told me, I had gone on a hike and had fallen. While it seemed semi-probable for the three scratches that one… I shook as my stomach clenched again. What they told me had to be a lie. I had attempted to take my life. I don’t know why I had but I did. My mother must have thought that if she had told me what really did happen, it would make my recovery worse.
I tuned my mom out once more as my hand shifted from my bracelet to my arm. I had seen the wounds underneath the bandages and to say I was shocked would have been an understatement.
Three long, blotchy lines stretched from the underside of my elbow. It grew thicker in the center of the wounds before narrowing off at the ends. But arms bore these wounds but my left… my stomach clenched. My left arm had a perfect slice that was perpendicular to the three other wounds. That one wound was so much deeper than any of the others that it had to be stitched shut.
My gaze turned to my mother who still sat there chatting away. Both she and the doctor had told me, I had gone on a hike and had fallen. While it seemed semi-probable for the three scratches that one… I shook as my stomach clenched again. What they told me had to be a lie. I had attempted to take my life. I don’t know why I had but I did. My mother must have thought that if she had told me what really did happen, it would make my recovery worse.
I've Forgotten - Part 5
Days passed as I lay quietly in the hospital bed. I was constantly trying to remember what I had forgotten but the doctor had urged me earlier not to push my memories but… I needed to know. Every dream for the past week had been about a person with brown eyes… sad brown eyes. I would reach out to the figure trying to get to them but I could never… they were always just out of reach and I would wake up. I would wake up to the bright sun streaming through the window and tears would start to fall, followed by pain swelling in my chest.
It was like this every morning and every time I had gotten everything back under control my mom would show up. Like clockwork she had shown up again.
“Guess what, Laurel?” She said as soon as she had entered through the door. I could probably guess and be right, but I decided to humor her.
“What?”
“The doctor said I could come and bright you home any time tomorrow!”
That is so soon...’ I sighed softly as I thought about going home. ‘Back to where everything had happened…’ Fear started to well up in my chest quickly followed by the squeezing pain. Out of reflex my hand shot to the bracelet currently sitting on my right wrist.
When it had finally faded away I sat there fingering the small pieces attached by a pink string. I had found the bracelet on the bedside on morning and some part of me had recognized it. I remember how my hand shot to it almost afraid it would vanish just beneath my fingers. Once it was in my grasp I held it close to my chest and the pain started to slip away. That day I knew that the bracelet had something to do with whatever I had forgotten. The simple jewelry brought surprising comfort the moment I put it on, and since then I hadn’t taken it off.
“Aren’t you happy, Laurel?”
Jerking out of my thoughts, I smiled and nodded. “It will be nice to be home finally.”
It was like this every morning and every time I had gotten everything back under control my mom would show up. Like clockwork she had shown up again.
“Guess what, Laurel?” She said as soon as she had entered through the door. I could probably guess and be right, but I decided to humor her.
“What?”
“The doctor said I could come and bright you home any time tomorrow!”
That is so soon...’ I sighed softly as I thought about going home. ‘Back to where everything had happened…’ Fear started to well up in my chest quickly followed by the squeezing pain. Out of reflex my hand shot to the bracelet currently sitting on my right wrist.
When it had finally faded away I sat there fingering the small pieces attached by a pink string. I had found the bracelet on the bedside on morning and some part of me had recognized it. I remember how my hand shot to it almost afraid it would vanish just beneath my fingers. Once it was in my grasp I held it close to my chest and the pain started to slip away. That day I knew that the bracelet had something to do with whatever I had forgotten. The simple jewelry brought surprising comfort the moment I put it on, and since then I hadn’t taken it off.
“Aren’t you happy, Laurel?”
Jerking out of my thoughts, I smiled and nodded. “It will be nice to be home finally.”
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