To Whom it May Concern:

It was foretold to fail before we even started. There was little to no support for us and secrecy did not help. I don't know about you but I struggled. I struggled and I fought for what we had, even when others whispered it wouldn't last, I still fought. I wanted it, I really did.

But you... I never really knew if you wanted it or not. Was it just pity? Did you ever truly care? I don't know... I don't know you...

Even though now I whisper, "I hate you", know that it is only my mind. For until my last breath my heart and soul will forever love and cherish you. You and your memories will forever be precious to me.

I've held onto this letter for a long time wondering if I should ever give it to you. But by the time you finally receive it, it is probably to late. By now you and many others might know everything that was ever written down by me.

Please understand though... I do love you... With what ever knowledge I do know about love you hold the highest part. Also know that no matter what happens between us no one will ever take your place. It is and will only be yours...

You may find me foolish and pathetic after reading this, you may even hate me, but that is why it is too late. Because I could not risk your rejection... I do not mind if you forget me... But I can never, no matter how hard I try, forget you...

Two Sides of a Coin

Me and her

Home and friends

Comfort and fashion

Two sides of a coin

There to balance each other out

But forever caught in our differences

Silence and chatter

Books and movies

Neighbors and celebrities

Yin and yang

Two sides of a coin

Me and my sister

Ending It

I give up

I’ve have lost

I can finally see

My own fault

He is happy

So is she

I am just the third wheel

And you don’t need me

Once a dream

Never real

It tears at my heart

But I’m to numb to feel

I gave you my love

For so many years

But it’s brought nothing but pain

And endless tears

So tonight its over

I’m going to die

My breath will still

And I wont cry

The cold has come

My breaths in the air

My body’s gone numb

And there’s ice in my hair

I lay here broken

So lost and destroyed

I’ve hardly spoken

Since that day

The world is dead

All lifes gone to sleep

The snows gone red

And I still wont weep

It wasn’t hard

I wasn’t scared

It was just a shard

Of glass from somewhere

But I can’t see

Though there’s nothing there

Just the darkness and me

And no one to care

My heart is dying

My breath is slow

My soul is crying

But no one will know

They’ll think I was strong

They’ll remember my smile

It wont seem wrong

That I’m gone for awhile

Time has ended

My heart has died

It’s over finally

And I haven’t cried

The Soldier

A frozen face
A scarred soul
Hands worn from battle
A heart that’s gone cold
A dark future
A corrupted past
An eternity of pain
And nightmares that last
A young child’s dream
To save the world
A young man’s nightmare
That’s finally unfurled
A man’s unrelenting gaze
Turned up towards the skies
As the rain falls down
To slide from his eyes
To long has he suffered
Too many years have passed by
His soul is finally broken
And he can no longer cry
So the soldier waits
As his world begins to die
For the rain to finally come
So he can finally cry

Dreaming

I dreamt of love
I dreamt of youth
I dreamt of passion
I dreamt of you
I dreamt of the past
I dreamt of who we were
I dreamt of heartbreak
I dreamt of her
I dreamt of a kiss
That belonged to me
Then she came in
And there can't be three
I dreamt of a smile
Aimed just at her
Agony in the heart
There is no cure
I dreamt of leaving
I dreamt I'd die
I dreamt of ending it
I had said goodbye
I dreamt my eyes closing
I dreamt a locked door
I dreamt my chest stilling
And I dreamt no more...

Facade

Hold your head up high
Look up towards the sky
Fight their words with smiles
For their hatred will only last awhile
Keep your feet firmly planted on the ground
Don’t let your heart make a sound
Keep your eyes straight ahead
What’s in the past is only dead
Keep your tongue sharp and quick
Be prepared to take a hit
Keep your voice gentle and sweet
Don’t be afraid to keep the beat
Let your spirit soar and fly
Let your prayers touch the sky
Let your dreams race around
Be don’t be afraid to calm them down
Sing out for all to hear
Bring others some good cheer
Don’t let them see you suffer and cry
Or how you feel like your going to die
Don’t let them know you want to give up
Don’t let them know how it really is tough
Don’t let them know your heart is about to break
Don’t let them know it’s more than you can take

The Truth

I shouldn’t do this
I shouldn’t play this game
Too many hearts can be broken
And there is nothing to gain
But I do it anyway
I jump from arms to arms
Without looking back
Hoping to keep my heart from harm
So many people suffer my injustice
So many will cry at night
But in reality I only out for myself
And to me that’s alright
I know what you want
I know how you see me
I know you think I’m perfect for you
But please try to believe me
I know how you look at me
And to me it’s all just a game
I’ll play you like my violin
Because to me you are all the same
I’ll use you, I’ll break you
Why don’t you understand this?
I’ll hurt you, I’ll crush you
But you still want a kiss
I know how to get what I want
I know how to twist you my way
I know because I’ve done it before
But I just can’t seem to stray
So many wanting to see my eyes
So many pining for my attention
So many wanting to hold my heart
So many wanting my affection
But I’ll warn you now
My hearts grown cold
To many years of heartache and pain
Is how my past will unfold
I’m going to play with your heart
I’m going to hold it in my hand
I’m going to pretend I care about you
Before I crush you where you stand

I don’t trust them anymore
I’ve locked my heart away
I’ve grown accustomed to this mask
And I’ll use it any day
Caught in my trap none can escape
And I’m going to make you hate me
Because in my eyes
This side of me should you see
You should see the dark
You should see the pain
You should see the hatred
You should see the rage
The one with the light
That lies in her eyes
The one with the smile
The one that never lies
She doesn’t exist anymore
You’re all too late
She’s finally given up
She’s finally passed the gate
She was used and stepped on
But she tried to fight back
All that ever brought her
Was a dark reality with a smack
So just leave while you can
Before for you are caught in my trap
For when I’m finished playing my game
You world is going to snap
You’ll find no pity from me
For you have heard my warning
Leave my side and don’t come back
For next time there will be no morning